7.31.2013

Loving your body

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1. “You seriously need to lose weight.”
2. “Your arms are too skinny. You need more tone, more muscle.”
3. “Your love handles are totally hanging over your pant waistline.”
4. “You seriously need to work on those thighs.”
5. “You would look so much better if you could just lose 5 pounds.”
6. “You look awful without makeup on.”
7. “What are those spots on your face? Scars or zits?”
8. “You are so out of shape!”
9. “Your cellulite is showing.”
10. “You have big hips.”
11. “Wow, that girl has an amazing body. You don’t look like that at all.”
12. “If you could get to 18% body fat you would look so much stronger.”
13. “You are not that pretty. You have a pointy nose.”

Those are 13 negative statements. And no, they are not from a bad boyfriend or husband. Shockingly, these are awful statements women say to themselves every day. About one thought for every waking hour of our day. According to this Glamour article, on average women have about 13 negative thoughts daily. And 97% percent of women admit to having at least one “I hate my body” moment every day. 

Most women are unhappy with their bodies. There are a million different reasons why this is the case. Many of which I don’t want to go into today. We can blame society all we want for this problem. But it still doesn’t solve it. So how do we fix it? How do we stop this negative spiral of daily thoughts? Start seeing yourself though the eyes of love.

What are the eyes of love? Simple. It is how my two-year-old daughter sees me.

She doesn’t know what my body fat percentage is. She doesn’t know that I am still working on losing the last of the baby weight. She doesn’t know that I think my hips are big or that my nose is pointy.She doesn’t know if I am ugly or pretty. She isn’t yet penetrable by society’s definition of beauty. All she knows is that she loves her mamma. There is no fat or skinny, pretty or ugly in her eyes. She loves me for who I am.



  1. “Mom, I love you!”
  2. “Mommy, come dance with me.”
  3. “Mommy! Good to see you.”
  4. “Mom, I like you.”
  5. “Mama let's play.”
  6. “Maaaaaaaam! Maaaaaam! Where are you? I want to be wif you.”
  7. “Hello mommy!”
  8. “Mommy, so preeetty!”
  9. “1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Yay! Mommy I did it!”
  10. “Mamma, hug?”
  11.  “Kiss it better mommy.”
  12.  “Do we look alike? Yay! Wahoo!”
  13.  “Mommy’s eyes, eyebrows, nose, mouth, ears, cheek, chin, lips, hair.”

Every day she sees me and she loves me. When I was big and pregnant, she never once told me I looked awful. But she did love to see and touch my big belly. She knew there was a baby in there, and that is all that mattered to her. She sees my eyes and lips with or without makeup on them. And they are just eyes to her; eyes that see her, lips that kiss her and make her feel better. She doesn’t see me through society's eyes. But she does see me through the eyes of love.

And it doesn’t take a two-year- old to love you in order for you to love yourself like a two-year-old would. One day at a time, we can decide to see ourselves as beautiful and love ourselves for who we are with the innate beauty we each possess.

What about you? What helps you to see yourself in a more positive light? 
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4 comments:

  1. Loving this Ali! I just saw another blog post that went RIGHT along with this in the most perfect way. http://joydevivrenyc.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-mom-in-mirror.html

    This is a lesson I think we're all learning and re-learning day after day. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your world of learning and reminding us that we're normal to feel that way, but strong enough to not feel that way. Well put. Well shared.

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  2. I love this post. And perfect timing, because I was *just* looking a picture of myself and thinking, "Y'know, my nose really doesn't look flattering at most angles. I'd be so much prettier with a smaller, less bumpy nose." It's insane how we're trained to never like our appearance, to assume we'd be "prettier" if we somehow fit every single standard for beauty (which is impossible since they tend to contradict each other). Wonderful article, well done!

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  3. Thanks Ali. I needed this today. It's true that my little guy loves me no matter what and I need to learn how to do that as well.

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  4. What a sweet post and a good reminder of how we should be viewing ourselves. The little ones can teach us a lot :)

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