Loving your body

by: alisia

1. “You seriously need to lose weight.”

2. “Your arms are too skinny. You need more tone, more muscle.”

3. “Your love handles are totally hanging over your pant waistline.”

4. “You seriously need to work on those thighs.”

5. “You would look so much better if you could just lose 5 pounds.”

6. “You look awful without makeup on.”

7. “What are those spots on your face? Scars or zits?”

8. “You are so out of shape!”

9. “Your cellulite is showing.”

10. “You have big hips.”

11. “Wow, that girl has an amazing body. You don’t look like that at all.”

12. “If you could get to 18% body fat you would look so much stronger.”

13. “You are not that pretty. You have a pointy nose.”

Those are 13 negative statements. And no, they are not from a bad boyfriend or husband. Shockingly, these are awful statements women say to themselves every day. About one thought for every waking hour of our day. According to this Glamour article, on average women have about 13 negative thoughts daily. And 97% percent of women admit to having at least one “I hate my body” moment every day. 

Most women are unhappy with their bodies. There are a million different reasons why this is the case. Many of which I don’t want to go into today. We can blame society all we want for this problem. But it still doesn’t solve it. So how do we fix it? How do we stop this negative spiral of daily thoughts? Start seeing yourself though the eyes of love.

What are the eyes of love? Simple. It is how my two-year-old daughter sees me.

She doesn’t know what my body fat percentage is. She doesn’t know that I am still working on losing the last of the baby weight. She doesn’t know that I think my hips are big or that my nose is pointy.She doesn’t know if I am ugly or pretty. She isn’t yet penetrable by society’s definition of beauty. All she knows is that she loves her mamma. There is no fat or skinny, pretty or ugly in her eyes. She loves me for who I am.

1. “Mom, I love you!”
2. “Mommy, come dance with me.”
3. “Mommy! Good to see you.”
4. “Mom, I like you.”
5. “Mama let's play.”
6. “Maaaaaaaam! Maaaaaam! Where are you? I want to be wif you.”
7. “Hello mommy!”
8. “Mommy, so preeetty!”
9. “1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Yay! Mommy I did it!”
10. “Mamma, hug?”
11.  “Kiss it better mommy.”
12.  “Do we look alike? Yay! Wahoo!”
13.  “Mommy’s eyes, eyebrows, nose, mouth, ears, cheek, chin, lips, hair.”

Every day she sees me and she loves me. When I was big and pregnant, she never once told me I looked awful. But she did love to see and touch my big belly. She knew there was a baby in there, and that is all that mattered to her. She sees my eyes and lips with or without makeup on them. And they are just eyes to her; eyes that see her, lips that kiss her and make her feel better. She doesn’t see me through society's eyes. But she does see me through the eyes of love.

And it doesn’t take a two-year- old to love you in order for you to love yourself like a two-year-old would. One day at a time, we can decide to see ourselves as beautiful and love ourselves for who we are with the innate beauty we each possess.

What about you? What helps you to see yourself in a more positive light? 

A Practice in Self Confidence

by Rachel A.

In October 2005, I embarked on a crazy social experiment that changed my perspective—or at least gave me some unique insight—on how appearance affects both the way you're perceived, as well as how it can make you feel about yourself ...  if you let it.

At the time, I was working as a graphic artist in a marketing department of a large company,  surrounded by really creative people with crazy ideas and discussions flowing through our group almost daily.

One Friday morning, my boss arrived at work with a list of 30, or so, arguably outrageous things a person might do (go skydiving, get a tattoo, shave your head, take an illegal drug, etc). He asked us to each look at the list and tell him, not which ones, but how many of these activities we would do for $100 each.

One by one, we each reviewed that list and subsequently revealed our number. Some people were quite conservative, identifying only 4 or 5 of the activities, while others numbers were well over 20. I don't remember what number I had, but it seems like it was somewhere on the upper end of average.

After a few hours of hearing our colleague's numbers, my boss wondered aloud how our numbers would change if the question was not just a hypothetical, and $100 was actually offered. Boldly, I declared that I was pretty sure my number would stay the same. Almost immediately, he responded, "you would really shave your head for $100?!" (Shaving my head happened to be one of the activities I had listed.) With only slightly wavering convictions, I again agreed that I would.

Before I knew it, five 20 dollar bills and a pair of scissors were on my desk.

What had I done?

I put on the brakes slightly, saying that I needed to make sure my husband wouldn't be upset. (Anyone that knows my husband knows that he would never be upset about something like this, in fact, he had been trying to get me to shave my head for a few years.) I also wanted to donate the hair, so at our lunch break, I went home to talk with my husband and wash and prepare the hair for donation.

When I returned, the $100 was gone, and my boss had taken off for an early start to the weekend. Without the money in hand, I decided there was no way I would go through with it. So, I spent the next few days going back and forth about whether or not to go through with this bet. I had many fears, but most of all, I was worried about what I would look like with no hair. Images of the Coneheads were not far from my imagination.

On Sunday night, as I was preparing to go back to work, my husband suggested I look at the challenge in a different way: instead of fearing what I might look like without hair, I should "view it as a practice in self confidence" and learn to find more confidence within myself, and not the way I appeared to others.

I should note: I don't mean to suggest I was lacking confidence at the time, or that I was all consumed by my appearance. However, a bad hair cut or hair day would easily derail my mood. Having had bad experiences with hair dressers in the past, I was always really nervous when approaching a new hair cut.

The "fuzz" stage: 2 months later

To make a long story short, on Monday, near the end of the work day, my coworkers crowded into a conference room and watched one of our colleagues shave my head. Watching their faces as I lost my hair was priceless. The photo above was taken immediately after the haircut—I hadn't even seen myself yet. And the money? I don't remember what I did with it ... we probably used it to buy some Christmas gifts that year.

While the most immediate difference I noticed was temperature (I don't suggest doing this on the cusp of winter), it was fascinating to see the difference in how people reacted to me.  An elderly (also bald) man in the grocery store got a huge grin when he saw me, rubbed his head while looking at me and declared, "Isn't it GREAT?!" Conversely, in the same grocery trip I got some pretty judgmental and ugly looks from several middle-aged women. The kids who hung out by their cars in parking lots, wearing non-conservative clothes, sporting various tattoos and piercings, who you always assume aren't looking at you simply because they have other things going on, suddenly acknowledged me. They would nod at me, as if I was now one of them, or that they approved of my new style. Finally, many, many people thought that my missing hair indicated that I was sick. For that one, I felt horrible. Even more horrible when I would get sympathetic smiles from those actually sick.

One of many experimental stages of regrowth

Looking in the mirror was a bit of a shock for the first several days, and I learned that, more than anything, hair covers up a lot of skin. Suddenly I felt like I had lots and lots of exposed skin, and it was hard not to feel like I had gained 15 pounds overnight. Friends were not shy about telling me how odd it was to see a girl with no hair, and for a while it took a lot of effort not to feel down about the way I looked. After a short time, and with a lot of encouragement from my husband, I stopped focusing on how I looked like a teenage boy, or how no skin flaw could be covered up by a sweeping bang, and instead focused on finding beauty within myself. I may not have looked like a traditionally attractive person, but I had much more to offer than looks.

As I now struggle with losing post-baby weight and the [very] early signs of aging ("No," I just told my husband, "not dementia"), this is a lesson I'm happy I've learned. I am certainly not suggesting everyone go out and shave your head, or that you shouldn't take pride in your appearance and try to look your best, but I think it's worth everyone's time to introspect on where you derive your self-confidence and self-worth, and (as cheesy as it may sound) try to find "beauty" within yourself.

How have you overcome times of limited confidence? How do you try to find beauty within others? I'd love to hear your experiences!

Easiest Highlight + Contour With the Stuff You Already Have

by rachel w.

I'm sure you've all pinned it... you know the pin, the one that shows you how to highlight and contour your face... but have you actually tried it? 

I have always been interested in the concept of highlighting and shading different areas of your noggin to get a different look, but I'd never put the brush to the cheek to give it an actual go until a few months ago. 

I'm the type of person who is pretty impatient (and cheap), so when I watched a video tutorial on the subject and discovered that I had almost NONE of the tools required to achieve that perfect glow, I dug through my makeup drawer and came up with my own method using the basic things that most makeup-wearing humans poses.

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Your Eyebrows Can Woo! Can You? {tutorial}

The Wonderful Things My Eyebrows Can Do
(Keep scrolling and yours can do them too!)

(Adapted from Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? By Dr. Seuss.)


Oh, the wonderful things your eyebrows can do!

They can make an expression that says woo hoo

They can frame your face and a be more than just fuzz.

How about yours?
Are they more than just fuzz?

They enhance your beauty... bippity bop.

And keep sweat on the outs when you hippity hop.

They can be just as important as your hairity do.

And express more in silence than a simple haiku.

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Vintage Homemade Hand Lotion

by Andi

A few months ago, I was at a baby shower at my the house of one of my cute neighbors up the street. Like at every lively party, the conversation turned to hand lotion and we all started talking about what brand was our favorite. A few of the ladies shared what their favorite was, but when the host of the shower walked in and heard what we were talking about, she quickly ran out of the room without saying anything. We all looked at each other and kind of laughed, wondering silently what would cause such a quick departure. She returned a few seconds later with an old looking jar and started telling us excitedly about her recipe for what she called the "world's best hand lotion." She went on to explain that her grandmother made up this recipe over 40 years ago and that it was hands-down (no pun intended!) the best lotion ever.

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Some Subtle Waves for Spring

by Rachel W.

I'm not going to lie... I'm totally embarrassed to even be posting this video, but this is where my idea for the blog began, so I kind of owe it to the good ol' doe to follow through. The short of it is that I posted a picture of myself on Instagram after I had waved my hair, and a few friends wanted me to do a tutorial. Before I knew it, I had started up Doe a Deery. I hope all three of you who requested this enjoy it ;) AND, this is my first vlog, so don't judge too harshly. I'd love to do more, so let me know if you'd be interested in any of the following... contour and highlight your face, get a liquid liner look without the liquid, shape and fill your brows, or how to pump up your lips.

But in all seriousness, I'm pretty low maintenance, this hairdo takes me all of about four minutes! Thanks for watching!



And for all of you who have no interest in my hair, here is a quote that has been on my mind as of late... "I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." --Abraham Lincoln

Gel Glitter Nails {tutorial}

by Andi

You didn't get anything sparkly for Valentine's Day either?!? Well, it is time to take matters into your own hands, or feet in this case, and add some glitter yourself! This gel glitter nail tutorial is quick, easy and will definitely keep your cash in your pocketbook. Your toes will look so sparkly and fun that you won't be able to go anywhere without getting compliments on them, and you won't be able to stop admiring them either!  Today I am going to show you how to glitterify (is that a word?) your toenails, but this process can just as easily be done on your fingernails.

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